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Baron Greenback, the Penguin's March, Fat Cat's Gang, and the Pi-rats
Neverland is a small island and one the sea was a lonely pirate ship and we hear singing going on there. We zoom in on the ship and see the penguin's march set up a flag of the Jolly Roger on the mast. The Penguin's March, Fat Cat's Gang, and the Pi-rats: Oh a gangster's life is a wonderful life A-rovin' over the sea Give me a career as a criminal It's the life of a gangster for me Oh, the life of a gangster for me Fat Cat's gang and some pi-rats are playing with darts on a picture of a crude drawing of Bron Greenback on a door. The Penguin's March, Fat Cat's Gang, and the Pi-rats: Oh, a gangster's life is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it's all over A jolly sea rover drops in on his friend Shan Yu Just about then, the door opened and two figures came out. One of them was a tall, thin crow with black feathers, an orange beak, gray eyebrows, and an Italian accents, wearing dark blue gloves, a red sweater, a gray trench coat, a matching bowler hat, light gray pants, and black shoes. His name was Stiletto Mafiosa. The other figure was a short, fat crow with black feathers and an orange beak, wearing a dark green newsboy cap, dark blue gloves, a pair of black pants, a white-&-red striped scarf, a green sweater, and a pair of white-&-red sneakers. His name was Leatherhead. Stiletto Mafiosa, Leatherhead, the Penguin's March, Fat Cat's Gang, and the Pi-rats: Oh, my good friend Shan Yu "Good morning, ship mates." Stiletto and Leatherhead said in unison only to get caught by one of the pi-rats. "And what's good about it, Stiletto and Leatherhead?" asked the first pi-rat. "Here we are collecting barnacles on this miserable island!" one of the penguins said. "While his nibs plays ring-around-the rosy with Wreck-It-Ralph." Snout the Rat said sticking his gun at Leatherhead. "Look out there. Might go off!" Leatherhead panicked, but he and Stiletto got their necks in rope knots by Mepps the Cat. "We ought to be tending to the business of looting ships." Mepps said. "Why, I've almost forgotten how to slit a throat." Mole the Mole said, using his dagger and got Stiletto and Leatherhead free. "Better drop it." Wart the Lizard said as they all threw daggers at the stairs as Stiletto and Leatherhead tried to avoid them. "And tell the captain we want to put to sea, boys!" the first penguin said. All the penguins, Fat Cat's gang, and the pi-rats laughed as Stiletto and Leatherhead stuck out their tongues and walked away. A male toad with green skin, a darker upper face, yellow eyes, a wheezy voice that makes him sound like he has emphysema, and crooked teeth, wearing a white dress shirt, a purple tie with a gold pin stuck in it, a pink ring on the third finger of his left hand, a yellow jacket, matching pants, and waistcoat, and black shoes with white spats on them was looking at a map. He is Baron Silas Greenback. He had one of his hands cut off by Ralph and now has a silver hook and now he want revenge. "Blast that Wreck-It-Ralph!" Greenback snarled. "If I could only find his hideout, I'd trap him in his lair. But where is it?" He starts to look at the map "Mermaid lagoon? No, we searched that. We've combed Cannibal Cove. But here!" He stuck his silver hook at the far north west on the map but then groaned "No, no, no, no. That's Brooklyn territ… But wait…" he took a good closer at the map "Those Mott Street Mauler's know this island better than I do me own ship. Ah, I wonder…" At that moment, Stiletto and Leatherhead walked in. "Bon giorno, barone." "I'VE GOT IT!" Greenback cheered as he grabbed Stiletto and Leatherhead with his hook pulled them closer. "Sonata Dusk, Stiletto and Leatherhead!" "S-S-Sonata D-D-Dusk, barone?" Stiletto asked, very afraid. "Warren T. Rat's adopted daughter!" Greenback said, "She'll know where Ralph is hiding." "B-B-But-But will she talk, baron?" asked Leatherhead as Leatherhead let go. "Oh, a little persuasion might be in order. Now let me see. Boiling in oil? Uh, keelhauling? Marooning?" Greenback said as he thought as a vulture named Boris was singing horribly with his accordion. Boris the Vulture: Oh, a gangster's life Is a wonderful life You'll find adventure and sport But live every minute For all that is in it The life of a gangster is short Oh, the life Having enough of his singing, Greenback got out a gun and aimed it. As Stiletto and Leatherhead got the shaving pack ready, the shot was heard and Stiletto and Leatherhead heard a accordion fall and splashed in the water. Stiletto took a look only to get splashed in the face. Leatherhead laughed at this, thinking it was funny. Greenback put away his gun. "Now let me see, where was I?" asked Greenback. "Oh dear, dear, dear Baron Greenback. Shooting a bird-a in-a the middle of his-a cadenza? It ain't-a good-a form, you know." Stiletto said. "Good form, Stiletto?" asked Greenback in a smooth voice first, and then yell angrily as he pushed the table aside and approached Stiletto and Leatherhead and waving his hook. "BLAST GOOD FORM! DID RALPH SHOW GOOD FORM WHEN HE DID THIS TO ME?!" "Why baron, cutting your hand off was only a childish prank you might say." Leatherhead said as he removed Greenback's dinner jacket. "Aye, but throwing it to that dinosaur! That cursed beast liked the taste of me so well he's followed me ever since licking his chops for the rest of me!" Greenback said loudly at first and then said in a low voice as he sat down in the chair which Stiletto brought. "And he's-a had you by now, barone, if he hadn't-a swallowed that alarm-a clock. But-a now when he's about-a, he warns-a you, as you might-a say with his tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock." Stiletto said. Speaking off tick-tock, there was a sound of tick-tocking heard. Stiletto, Leatherhead, and Greenback heard it. Greenback's face was in fear. There below his ship was a giant lime green dinosaur with seafoam spikes from his head to his tail, orange eyes, and a purple tongue named Reptar. When he saw Greenback, the dinosaur licked his mouth, hungry for a toad. Greenback screamed. "STILETTO! LEATHERHEAD!" He screamed as he leapt into Leatherhead's arms "Oh, save me, Stiletto! Please don't let him get me, Leatherhead! Please! Don't let him get me, Stiletto! Leatherhead!" He hid behind a chair while Stiletto and Leatherhead went to Reptar. "Here now, shame on you, upsetting the poor baron." Leatherhead scolded, "There'll be no handouts today." And Stiletto said, "Shoo now, shoo. Go on, go on. Off with you, I say. Go away. Go away, out of here!" And as they said that, Reptar went away. Greenback appeared from behind the sheet of the chair. "I-I-Is he gone, Stiletto and Leatherhead?" he said in a scared voice. "Aye, baron. All clear. Nothing to worry about." Leatherhead said as he tried to relax his shaking captain. "Oh, Stiletto, Leatherhead. I can't stand it any longer. I tell you I can't!" Greenback said as Leatherhead sat him down on the chair. "Now, now, now, baron, just relax. What you need is a shave, a nice soothing shave. There now" Leatherhead said as he put a towel around Greenback's head. The toad sighed. A seagull saw the towel and sat on it and fell asleep as Stiletto and Leatherhead sang. Stiletto and Leatherhead: A gangster's life is a wonderful life a-sailing over the seas Give us a career as buc… Leatherhead didn't see that he was putting shaving cream on the seagull's bottom. "Baron, you know, I can't help noticing you just aunt been your usual jolly self of late." Stiletto picked up a razor and wiped it on a towel. Stiletto and Leatherhead: Give us a career as buccaneers… "And the crew's getting? a might uneasy, Captain. That is, what's left of it. Hmm." Leatherhead was using the razor on the seagull's bottom and it wiped out her feathers. "Now why don't we put to sea, see? Leave Neverland. Forget Wreck-It-Ralph. There now!" he put some aftershave on the seagull's bottom. The seagull woke up and in horror, flew away covering her behind. Stiletto and Leatherhead didn't see her go because they was putting some powder on their degloved hands. Stiletto and Leatherhead: Give us a career as buccaneers… "We'll-a all-a be a lot-a happier," Stiletto smiled. "Not-a to mention a lot-a healthier. Oh!" He and Leatherhead put their hands out only to find out they were doing it in mid air. "Baron?" cried Stiletto and Leatherhead in unison. "Oh dear!" said a worried Stiletto, "Neither one of us has ever shaved him this-a close before." Neither one ever dared to look, so Leatherhead didn't to look for it under the chair. "Don't worry baron," he said, "It must be somewhere about." He began to walk off with the chair carrying him. The towel fell from Greenback's face and he looked down to see Leatherhead making a fool of himself crawling to find something. "Get up, you big-nosed idiot!" Greenback snapped. "Aye, aye, sir!" Leatherhead said knocking the chair and Greenback to one side of the ship. He and Stiletto (who have wiped the powder off their hands and put their gloves back on) turned around to see him dazed. "Oh, we-a found it, barone." Stiletto cheered, "Good as-a new." He and Leatherhead tried to pull his head off only for Greenback to wake up very angry. "Why, you blithering blackbirds!" Greenback cried, as he held Stiletto and Leatherhead by their coat and scarf and was about to kill them when… "Wreck-It-Ralph, ahoy!" One of the penguins called from the watcher. "What? What? Where away?" Greenback asked. "Three points off the starboard bow!" Wart called. Greenback looked through his telescope and saw Ralph with Merida, Taran, and Chuckie. "Swoggle me eyes, it is Ralph! Headed this way with his girlfriend and her brothers! Stiletto and Leatherhead, pipe up the crew!" "Aye, aye, sir! Pipe up the crew! Pipe up the crew! All hands on deck!" Stiletto and Leatherhead said in unison as Leatherhead whistled "All hands on deck! All hands on deck! All hands on deck!" All the penguins, Fat Cat's gang, and the pi-rats rose up and got into action. "Look alive, you swabs! We've got him this time, Stiletto and Leatherhead!" He said as he put on his yellow coat. "That-a we have, captain." Greenback called to his henchmen. "Man the Long Tom, you bilge rats!" He went to Stiletto and Leatherhead and put on his yellow hat with a giant light purple feather stuck in a green rim band. "I've waited years for this." "That's not-a counting the holidays-a, either." Stiletto said. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Greenback ordered as Mepps and Snout got the cannon ready. "Double the powder and shorten the fuse!" Leatherhead repeated. "A pretty sight, Stiletto and Leatherhead. Like sitting ducks. All right, men! Range: 42!" Greenback said as he used his telescope to pin point Ralph, Merida, Taran, and Chuckie on a cloud viewing Neverland. "Range: 42!" Stiletto and Leatherhead said. "Elevation: 65!" Greenback ordered as Stiletto and Leatherhead repeated after him. "Three degrees west!" Stiletto and Leatherhead repeated again. "Steady now!" This time, neither Stiletto nor Leatherhead repeated. They covered their heads with their hats and covered their ears. "Steady!" Category:Fan Fiction